Why would you want to buy something that I invented? I have no idea. Maybe because you have no idea what I’m trying to sell to you. Well, I invented the Ultra 7. It can play PS, PS2, PS3, PS4, Xbox, Xbox 360, Xbox One, Wii, Wii U, PC, Mac, and Steam games. There so many video games out there, but mine can play all of them. That’s right. All of them. I basically built the ultimate cross-platform console. There’s also slots for PSP, Nintendo 3DS, Atari,...
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Okay… So there was this dude called Horatius. And there was this bridge built across the Tiber. Anyway, the new king of Rome (Publius Valerius) was having some problems with this banished guy called Tarquin. (Who was the king a few years back.) So Tarquin united with the Etruscan king, Lars Porsena. For some reason, I keep on thinking of Owen Lars whenever I hear that. The Etruscans planned to cross the Tiber on the bridge. Of course, the Romans started tearing it...
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I started playing Ratchet & Clank (2002). And it’s totally awesome. Maybe I should explain what I did. First, I researched the controls. A great guide to controls, walkthroughs, and secrets can be found here: http://www.ign.com/wikis/ratchet-clank/Basics I started out on Veldin. I raced forward at those tiny little frog dudes and beat them up. Then I looked down and did something really noob. I jumped. Of course, Ratchet disappeared into the gaping crevice and...
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When he woke up, an iron golem was staring at him. He leapt out of the bed and reached into his inventory. There was no sword, no bow, no nothing. The iron golem’s metallic voice roared to life. “Your test will now begin,” it said. Cheers came from all corners of the room. He finally noticed the green-robed villagers standing everywhere. The iron golem pulled out a shimmering diamond sword… and swung it down on LifeFire7. He dodged and ripped a stone sword from the...
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(Note: This Minecraft series has no relation whatsoever to Minecraft Stories) LifeFire7 was in a tough spot. Shortly after mysteriously entering Minecraft, he’d been ambushed by mobs of zombies, skeletons, and creepers. Downed to half a heart, he hobbled toward a village. He tripped in the shifting sand and pitched forward. He groaned, got to his feet, and sprinted. Or tried to, anyway. The result was his last food bar disappearing. His pace slowed dramatically. He searched...
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